closet_blogger (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} closet_blogger) wrote,@ 2006-06-21 21:24:00 |
|
THINGS THAT BUG ME
There are few things that really bug me. One of those things is bugs. Bugs in the house. I don't like bugs in the house. Those critters are free to roam wherever they please. They have billions, even trillions of options as to which space to occupy in this big, wide world. I, however, only have my one little house. And I don't wish to share it with bugs, thankyouverymuch.
Now, I honestly don't mind squishing fruit flies or mosquitos or ants, or any of the itty bitty guys. But I draw the line once they reach a certain size. I just can not deal with it if I'm going to have to feel it, or if it's anywhere near juicy-looking or has any weight to it. So once we get past microscopic bugs, dh is Pest Control around here.
But right now, Pest Control is out of town. And somebody must have sent out an email to all the big, horrible juicy bugs of the neighborhood "Party at CB's house!"
Yesterday evening, 4 year-old son was freaking about a "big bumblebee." He was too terrified to show me where the big bumblebee was, so I, a bit terrified myself, walked into the room and immediately spotted a mosquito hovering near the ceiling. Phew!
"It's just a mosquito!" I consoled my little one. "Don't worry, I'll squish it when it comes down to where I can reach it. It's okay, you can come here now." So, trusting me, he comes into the room and absolutely freezes.
"There it is. There it is. The big thing!" Where? Where? What big thing? Oh, the big humongous fly! Okay. I'm not too afraid of flies. Not really. I figure I'll just shoo the fly into the kitchen and out the back door. But the fly doesn't cooperate. He flies towards the dining room window instead, buzzing against the screen. Well, cool! I closed the window and problem solved. Mr. Fly is trapped. Can't bother us no more. And get this...the nice mosquito (if there is such a thing) flew into the window at the exact same moment, so I got rid of both the pests at once, and all was well...
Until about 30 minutes later, when 12 year-old daughter went into the bathroom and shrieked!!! There was a huge, and I do mean HUGE, moth flapping around in there. The thing was at least the size of a human adult's ear. Maybe bigger. It looked like it must have weighed a couple of pounds and that thought alone made me shiver. So I slammed the bathroom door shut and said, "Nobody open this door! We're only using the upstairs bathroom until Pest Control comes home."
So, everything under control. Then this afternoon, 4 year-old freaked out again. Big problem. Big, juicy eight-legged problem that moved at the speed of light. The only way to deal with that is to pretend it's not there, but this technique doesn't always work so well, especially when the kids are in a panic over it. Anyhow, this arachnid kept popping up all afternoon. Seemed to be following us around. I was concerned that it might be a dangerous man-eating spider (reasonable concern, right?), so I made sure to keep my eyes open and stay well away from it as much as possible.
So there I was, not long ago, typing away at my laptop, holding my feet up in the air to keep them safe, lest the spider decide to crawl up onto them...when suddenly, man-eating spider pops his head out from under my laptop and bares his fangs! I JUMPED and SCREAMED at the top of my lungs and threw myself and my chair backwards, smashing into the wall behind me, breaking the baseboard heater (but who cares? my life was in danger!) Well, the kids all came running to see why I gave them a near heart attack. And I begged, I'm telling you, BEGGED for one of them to do something with this spider. Kill it, trap it, something. I used all the bribes (er, motivational stuff) I could think of, but no, it was too gross for them to even look at the thing.
So I took a deep breath and did what I had to do. Yes. That's right. I picked up the phone and called my neighbor. After the hysterical laughter subsided, she came right over, may God bless her and her entire family and all their descendants forever more.
I sent my son to get a kleenex for the kind neighbor and he opened the bathroom door--the MOTH bathroom door that even has a little poster on it reminding people not to go in there--I ran right over there hysterically and slammed it back shut, screaming, "No! There's a moth in there!"
Oh my! It was quite a hilarious scene. I don't remember laughing so hard in a long time. Unfortunately, my neighbor doesn't do moths. But she did do the spider and I will be eternally grateful for it. (I don't need to describe how I was screaming and gagging as she squished it. For a second I actually thought I was going to throw up, but I couldn't because of the moth in the bathroom. Anyhow, no need to talk about that.)
Remind me to buy my neighbor a Kit Kat, even though I gave her one for no particular reason just a couple of weeks ago, she deserves another one! And Pest Control is on the airplane on his way home now, should be home in the wee hours of the morning, so we'll be able to use both bathrooms again tomorrow, I hope. Ah, well. All's well that ends well.
There are few things that really bug me. One of those things is bugs. Bugs in the house. I don't like bugs in the house. Those critters are free to roam wherever they please. They have billions, even trillions of options as to which space to occupy in this big, wide world. I, however, only have my one little house. And I don't wish to share it with bugs, thankyouverymuch.
Now, I honestly don't mind squishing fruit flies or mosquitos or ants, or any of the itty bitty guys. But I draw the line once they reach a certain size. I just can not deal with it if I'm going to have to feel it, or if it's anywhere near juicy-looking or has any weight to it. So once we get past microscopic bugs, dh is Pest Control around here.
But right now, Pest Control is out of town. And somebody must have sent out an email to all the big, horrible juicy bugs of the neighborhood "Party at CB's house!"
Yesterday evening, 4 year-old son was freaking about a "big bumblebee." He was too terrified to show me where the big bumblebee was, so I, a bit terrified myself, walked into the room and immediately spotted a mosquito hovering near the ceiling. Phew!
"It's just a mosquito!" I consoled my little one. "Don't worry, I'll squish it when it comes down to where I can reach it. It's okay, you can come here now." So, trusting me, he comes into the room and absolutely freezes.
"There it is. There it is. The big thing!" Where? Where? What big thing? Oh, the big humongous fly! Okay. I'm not too afraid of flies. Not really. I figure I'll just shoo the fly into the kitchen and out the back door. But the fly doesn't cooperate. He flies towards the dining room window instead, buzzing against the screen. Well, cool! I closed the window and problem solved. Mr. Fly is trapped. Can't bother us no more. And get this...the nice mosquito (if there is such a thing) flew into the window at the exact same moment, so I got rid of both the pests at once, and all was well...
Until about 30 minutes later, when 12 year-old daughter went into the bathroom and shrieked!!! There was a huge, and I do mean HUGE, moth flapping around in there. The thing was at least the size of a human adult's ear. Maybe bigger. It looked like it must have weighed a couple of pounds and that thought alone made me shiver. So I slammed the bathroom door shut and said, "Nobody open this door! We're only using the upstairs bathroom until Pest Control comes home."
So, everything under control. Then this afternoon, 4 year-old freaked out again. Big problem. Big, juicy eight-legged problem that moved at the speed of light. The only way to deal with that is to pretend it's not there, but this technique doesn't always work so well, especially when the kids are in a panic over it. Anyhow, this arachnid kept popping up all afternoon. Seemed to be following us around. I was concerned that it might be a dangerous man-eating spider (reasonable concern, right?), so I made sure to keep my eyes open and stay well away from it as much as possible.
So there I was, not long ago, typing away at my laptop, holding my feet up in the air to keep them safe, lest the spider decide to crawl up onto them...when suddenly, man-eating spider pops his head out from under my laptop and bares his fangs! I JUMPED and SCREAMED at the top of my lungs and threw myself and my chair backwards, smashing into the wall behind me, breaking the baseboard heater (but who cares? my life was in danger!) Well, the kids all came running to see why I gave them a near heart attack. And I begged, I'm telling you, BEGGED for one of them to do something with this spider. Kill it, trap it, something. I used all the bribes (er, motivational stuff) I could think of, but no, it was too gross for them to even look at the thing.
So I took a deep breath and did what I had to do. Yes. That's right. I picked up the phone and called my neighbor. After the hysterical laughter subsided, she came right over, may God bless her and her entire family and all their descendants forever more.
I sent my son to get a kleenex for the kind neighbor and he opened the bathroom door--the MOTH bathroom door that even has a little poster on it reminding people not to go in there--I ran right over there hysterically and slammed it back shut, screaming, "No! There's a moth in there!"
Oh my! It was quite a hilarious scene. I don't remember laughing so hard in a long time. Unfortunately, my neighbor doesn't do moths. But she did do the spider and I will be eternally grateful for it. (I don't need to describe how I was screaming and gagging as she squished it. For a second I actually thought I was going to throw up, but I couldn't because of the moth in the bathroom. Anyhow, no need to talk about that.)
Remind me to buy my neighbor a Kit Kat, even though I gave her one for no particular reason just a couple of weeks ago, she deserves another one! And Pest Control is on the airplane on his way home now, should be home in the wee hours of the morning, so we'll be able to use both bathrooms again tomorrow, I hope. Ah, well. All's well that ends well.
